Have you ever thought about how your parents’ childhoods could shape the way they raise you? It’s kind of wild but it happens all the time and there’s real info out there to back it up. Some parents look back at how they grew up and decide to do things differently like if they were forced into sports they didn’t like, they might choose to let their kids pick what they want to do instead. Some parents who grew up in a house where nobody hugged much, might want to make sure their own kids get lots of love and affection. But sometimes parents just do what their parents did such as sharing family traditions or little things that made them happy as kids (Zero to Three).
But sometimes it goes deeper than just family habits. When parents and their kids go through something traumatic together it may really mess with their relationship. Kids might get super stressed out or act out in ways their parents don’t get and it can be hard for everyone to talk about what they’re feeling (NCTSN). Sometimes parents don’t understand how much their own past affects how they handle things now.
The way parents act matters a lot. Kids who grow up with parents who are loving but also set rules usually turn out to be way more confident and happier. If parents are too strict or not involved, the kids can have a harder time in life with school and friends (Impact of Parenting Style on Early Childhood Learning ).
Being a parent can also bring up old wounds from when they were kids. Sometimes those old wounds can make it harder for parents to connect or feel close to their own children despite them wanting to. A lot of people don’t realize how much their childhood shapes the way they parent until they really think about it (How Our Childhood Wounds Impact Our Parenting ). So yes, the past can shape us but it doesn’t have to control us. If parents pay attention and try to make good choices, they can help their kids grow up strong and loved.
Sources Used
https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/early-childhood-trauma/effects
Impact of Parenting Style on Early Childhood Learning